This Is Serious

The rainy days I prefer,
The cloudless ones I deter,
Transforming my physical body matters,
I need to have a stronger shell for a stronger flesh,
Body, Mind and Soul I have to prepare,
I am tired of the tiresome woes, complaints and despair,
I lost fat, I am educating my muscles,
I work for others because decompressing ego matters.
I'll buy clothes which are smart and dapper,
First impression lasts longer and far more better,
Sensing other peoples Aura keeps my company in check,
Though there are some whom I can't throw over the deck,
I have confessed to my crushed before, Turned down by a friendly figure, Pushed away by someone who appreciate me as who I am.
These are just trinkets of Life. the sticky butter to Life's Jam.
I appreciate those times in life but I believe that is life is not sweet but actually bitter.
With every bitterness we overcome, we gain power.
I thank everyone who has passed through my life, may we once again see each other,
As I eagerly stroll to my life's next chapter~

Hazman Awakened EST 1998-2000, re-established 2009 and counting...

When I Was 15, I was more or less a shell f what I am today,

I hung out with seniors skipped History classes on Wednesdays,

I hated myself, obese and miserable,

I hated my alma mater cuz it was for me horrible.

At that time I was using the name Farhan,

a name that symbolises Happiness.

Clearly a  name that hasn't been settled inside my body for quite awhile

during my 15 year old self.

During 15, I assume that most Malaysian teenagers are searching who they are.

yes, most teenagers start early, but when everyone hits 15,

mostly will start asking who am I?

some believed it is the time to find a partner in life.

naturally,

some just want to stamp an identity in themselves.

I was one of them.

in 2009 I knew for a start that my initial name should have been Rahman.

realising that and I had a mixed Chinese-Javanese heritage,

I took the moniker Rahman Long.

clearly RL was better than Mr. Happy.

but it wasn't strong. 

somehow Rahman has a somewhat lackluster drivein my life.

realising that, I console with myself.

who should I be?

Mother knows best.

I took the name Hazman as my "new" identity.

Though I had used that name before,

Hazman has always been hibernating in his den.

Sleepy, Sarcastic, Serious

the 3 S's of the essence

Determine, Discipline

his rarely used but effective skills.

He stared at me,

Farhan, the happy go lucky facade must go.

we nodded in agreement, shook our hands.

Hazman has finally flexed his wings.

he let out a maniacal laughter

which slipped out of the physical body, raising a 5 minute polite surprise and concerns of the other Form3 Classmates.

Hazman is rebuilding every foundation that Farhan has done
and still is.