Cinta Buta

Emosi membutakan diri kepada realiti…

Mengendahkan dunia yang ku rela untuk tidak mengerti,

Diriku lemas dalam lautan fantasi,

Bila dikau dan aku bersama..

Keyakinan diriku dipatahkan seribu,

Kesejukan kesengsaraan menusuk dalam kalbu,

Apabila kau hilang dari dunia fizikal yang tipu,

Otak ku sudah tepu…

Diriku lagi tiada kerelaan

Badanku mengharapkan kehangatan…

Hatiku mendambakan kesayangan..

Aku mengharap kau dating semula,

Aku harap diriku dapat diterima,

Maafkan diriku yang lemah dan sederhana..

Ku harap kita akan bertemu semula di alam yang fana..

Do Or Die

DO OR DIE

The Hand is pressing harder on me,

I can feel it's palm pressing firmly on my back,

Unable to breathe freely,

Reminiscing those days before I lost track.

The Hand that is pressing on my back is pushing me further,'I can feel my nose grinding on the floor,

Tear drops began pouring as the pain becomes unbearable,

Till I collapse, Till I crack, Till I Die,

I will try, try, and try...

Till my body relieves me of my constant sighs,

Do not give up says I,

This Is Do Or Die...

scars

These Tears, These Scars,

They Tell Stories of My LIFE,

All my HIGHS

All my LOWS

These Scars, These Tears

are the product of blood sweat and experiences

The GOOD ones

the BAD ones

they all share a story worth telling

I lost my WINGS, lost my FANGS

traded them to a new life

in hopes of a new start, 

a new LIGHT

These Tears, These Scars

Might have frozen my heart with SORROW,

my mind bored HOLLOW,

no one else for me to FOLLOW,

guide me thy God with the body I BORROW

These Scars, These Tears,

they will never heal,

they remain until revealed,

a heart full of punctures

a mind full of ruptures

I see LIGHT

I see it BRIGHT

but will I ever get there?

without God's MIGHT

without any FIGHT

will I ever get it RIGHT?

pouvez-vous entendre les larmes?

pouvez-vous entendre les larmes?

it was never unseen but it was heard,

those tears that were emitted but the rain clouds hide it with their thunder

pouvez-vous entendre les larmes?

the sufferings they suffer day and night,

all we had to suffer was the nightmares that we fright

pouvez-vous entendre les larmes?

those 5 duties they did,

without any complaints nor sighs even though their lives are on the line

we prolonged our duties due to procrastination of time

pouvez-vous entendre les larmes?

while they were young all they know is sorrow

while we were young we hasted with trends to follow

pouvez-vous entendre les larmes?

those tears shed for their unknown fathers and mothers

our tears shed cuz we can't get what we were lustfully after

pouvez-vous entendre les larmes?

they fight for the real rights,

while we are here squabbling over who's might is right,

Blue, Red, Green, Yellow

telling people they are the best to follow

pouvez-vous entendre les larmes?

they don't care for our help

they don't care fighting with rocks against bullets,

when they die only the spiteful gleefully yelps,

when they die, they die as saints

but we?

pouvez-vous entendre les larmes?

when we offered help all they said was,

pray for us

and help yourselves

after we win,

we'll join you.

unity must exist within

or else those tears are just some residue

something we read for our emotional pleasures,

something we read so we don't feel any displeasure.

don't let our cousin's tears go to waste,

we are out of time so make haste,

do not let our trust be misplaced,

to God we begin with and to God we will face

When I See That Colour

When I See That Colour

I can't see any bright flowers or the colour of your purse ,

Because it breaks me and renders me powerless,

Still trying to forget bout you with all my power,

but I feel myself breaking when I see that Colour...

Everyday I try to live a life without fear,

Waking up with a smile, grinning without care,

but when I saw what that girl was wearing,

I feel like my heart is breaking,

Automatically bittersweet memories reminded me about you

Still trying to forget bout you with all my power,

but I feel myself breaking when I see that Colour...

Felt like we had it, 

Thought we were destined,

Never knew you were that way,

You managed to took half of me when you walk out to my dismay,

Still trying to forget bout you with all my power,

but I feel myself breaking when I see that Colour...

I wish I was colour blind so I'll never be reminded of you,

Your Eyes, Your Laugh, Your Smile its all embedded in this colour,

I wish I never met you,

I wish I never had given you that Flower..

Still trying to forget bout you with all my power,

but I feel myself breaking when I see that Colour...

Do I still love You I ask myself every single day,

My Parents said that you were just another shadow in my day,

Something that will die out soon when night arrives,

What they had never knew was that you were my drive,

Something I wake up everyday for, something that I wanted to strive...

Damn...

I wish I never met you,

I wish I never had given you that Flower..

Still trying to forget bout you with all my power,

but I feel myself breaking when I see that Colour...

Practically Clueless

This is a story of how I got close to getting to a person that I wanted,

And how I threw it all away…

Somehow it felt so bittersweet rather than dismay,

She was somehow a motivation,

Something that I look up to almost like devotion,

The day I met her was my darkest days,

I had no faith in myself or anything else,

You are a flower amongst the rubbles,

You kept yourself intact no matter how much the world changes,

You did what I never did,

You analyse and adapt and bring it in your own colour,

Showing that you can be who you are; a universal truth that speaks for the speechless,

It’s funny how I try to always catch up to you,

It’s like grasping the stars in the heavens,

So close yet so far…

It seems that Faith has kept our strands intertwined for some time,

You seemed to not realised that I have grown fond of you all those time,

They say when you love someone you let it go,

Give them a chance to grow,

It is really hard to let you go,

Since all we had to talk was always business and assignments that are on the go,

I realised it when we went our separate ways and my head was in a mush,

I guess that’s why they call it a crush…

One day I reflect upon my feelings,

Should I tell you how I feel, is it right?

A small voice laughs when this question arises,

You know what is wrong and what is right,

Do what is best,

I nodded solemnly without contest

 I wish you all the best in your future endeavours,

I’ll swallow my ego and accept Life as it is if there’s no such thing as us,

No matter what happens next I still wish you the best,

As I begin to see that the world is no jest,

I’m burying my crushed heart with full hearted laughs and smiles,

But at night I sleep by talking to the Moon,

Hoping to ease my way to deep slumber,

No matter what happens now,

I’ll live my life and pave my way to my final Destination.

You are and always are my Godsend inspiration…

Secret Admirer

give me a beat, give me a smile, give me a chance to stay awhile,

everyday every time every chance I would get,

I'll see your color so I won't forget,

Now that we've gone our separate ways,

I hope that you'll be okay

give me a beat, give me a smile, give me a chance to stay awhile,

Oh Tuhan yang Maha Menyayangi,

Kau Cucurilah rahmat Mu kepadanya yang baik hati,

Supaya dia sentiasa happy..

give me a beat, give me a smile, give me a chance to stay awhile,

Everyday, Monday to Sunday,

I would never want you to feel dismay,

It feels like I'm drowning in a sea of rain,

When I know that You are in pain

Oh Tuhan! Yang Maha Menyayangi,

Kau Rahmatilah si Dia yang baik hati,

Berkatilah perpisahan kami,

Berkatilah perjumpaan kami

Berkatilah diriku ini,

Berkatilah jodoh kami,

Berkatilah hubungan kami

Berkatilah hubungan kami

Berkatilah cintaku yang murni

give me a beat, give me a smile, give me a chance to stay awhile...

Happy New Year

                ‘So, did you check the car?’ Farhan asked. ‘For the umpteenth time, yes! God, I didn’t know we’re bringing a worry wart along to the New Year celebrations’ said Amir gleefully while he shut his bonnet down. Me, Amir, Bur and Farhan have decided to celebrate 2012 at Kuala Lumpur along with many other metropolitans and tourists there. We’ve decided to join the New Year countdown at Twin Towers. There, we would enjoy the fireworks then meeting Farhan’s Uncle for a New Year Party.

                Amir, I and Farhan had already received our driver’s license while Bur had not taken it as his mother had asked him to focus on his studies during our last year at school although he is a better driver than us. Amir’s car, an old Proton Saga which we jokingly called it the First Edition Proton. It was really that old..

                Thankfully it fitted all our luggages especially Farhan’s luggage. He was a “safe” packer which basically means he brings a lot of useless junk which he would always defends his stuff by saying “just in case..”

                After finishing our prayers we shook hands with our parents except for Farhan’s as they were waiting for us at Kuala Lumpur. Amir started the car and we drove off. Equipped with SMART tag to rid off the tolls easily, our smart phones in case we get lost, a map just in case Google Maps can’t help us, and a comfortable blanket for myself. I can’t stand the cold of the air conditioner even if it’s from a ‘First Edition’ Proton.

                After we drove for hours, we decided to stop at Ayer Keroh’s famous flyover road stop. There, we ate an early dinner, prayed and sightseeing at Al-Ihsan, where we saw the latest sports merchandise. After pulling Bur and Farhan from the store preventing them from drooling at the latest Nike soccer boots we went to the car but the owner of the car wasn’t there. All of us sighed loudly as we all know where the owner of the car went. He was hitting on girls. Again.

                Amir’s actions threw us off course from our initial plans. While Amir was rolling his eyes to Farhan’s lecture and Bur’s thunderous snores I was speeding on the highway. As I reached 130 km/h a flash was seen from our right side. I jumped when the flash shone on our car and went straight away to the nearest road stop. ‘What was that?’ asked Farhan.  ‘Speed trap camera’ Amir said bluntly. It was our first time getting caught in the act we parked the car and waited for a few minutes in a dazed expression until Bur choked from snoring which woke him up and made us all laugh. Then, Farhan decided to take the wheel on this leg of the journey.

                As we drove in a slightly better mood, we talked about how we are going to enjoy the celebration and meeting new people and making new friends. Amir then said ‘Just new friends?’ he raised his eyebrows and we all laughed at his statement. We knew of Amir’s New Year’s resolution; New year, new girl. His flirtatious ways were troublesome but he’s a good guy but with a tragic love life that seems always predictably spiralling down to lover’s oblivion. As we laughed and Farhan was teasing Amir’s chances of flirting a girl, it happened.

                We were laughing and were having a goodtime in our drive to Kuala Lumpur until we saw a large bulking black figure on the road; it was a dead boar. Amir, pointed at it and instinctively, Farhan swerved to the left as the car in behind us would probably swerved to the right. To our dismay, we swerved the wrong way as our car collided with a large transporting lorry. The last thing I saw was a large set of tyres fated to hit my side of the car. I thought we were going to die as we spun uncontrollably on the road and Bur was furiously saying prayers and Farhan’s head hit hard on the steering wheel. Amir and I saw the lorry that collided with us rolling on the highway like the truck we saw in the movie Fast and Furious 4. Our car stopped neatly at the left side of the highway without hitting the curb thankfully.

                A loud furious tap woke me up and saw that we all survived the accident. An Indian driver had stopped his truck to check on us and asked us to get out of the car quickly as the lorry’s oil tank had leaked. Fearing for the worst, we obediently got out of the car and waited outside of the road. The police had reacted fast and finished reported our accident. We looked at the car. It was pretty wrecked. Thankfully we and the lorry driver survived it. As passing by vehicles slowed down to check what is going on, flashes from cameras were seen as some of the bus’s passengers decided to take pictures of the incident. Always the joker, I made peace signs to the passengers who were eagerly taking pictures of what had happened.

                The police had towed our car to be fixed at a nearby workshop while we were sent to the nearest police station which was Linggi’s Police Station. There, we had to make a new report and had to pay a ticket for speeding and for hitting the lorry. We understand the fine for the speeding but for accidentally hitting the lorry? Rather than arguing about it we obediently paid it and waited for Farhan’s parents to pick us up.

                After a brief reunion for Farhan and his family, we travelled to Kuala Lumpur and cancelled our plans and settled for a quiet celebration at Farhan’s apartment which was situated near the Twin Towers. “Well at least we can see the fireworks” said Bur yawningly before he dozed off again as we drove to Kuala Lumpur.

                  

Cut-Girl

A bit more, just a bit more,

Warm blood trickled on the floor,

Spreading its warmth as it trickles with such gore,

One hand with a knife, the other crumpled in a fist a trouble child who just don’t want no more

She felt good, the gash made her sane,

The red scars made her patient,

All she ever wanted was for her caretakers to listen,

She was no longer a child; she wanted the door to be open,

She wants to explore to know what is going on what has happened,

She didn’t wish for pure freedom,

She just wanted to breath the air that she watches people took,

She wanted people to understand,

They say they do but they don’t want to listen,

They just want to repair, chop away all her problems,

How can a blind man repair a broken heart’s problems?

She has friends who are different in character, background that is with her,

They can listen to her problems; figure out how to handle the situation by thinking together,

In the end, the choice to change is up to her,

If anything goes wrong, if it cannot be help at all,

She has her penknife to open a place for her,

A happy place for her to be alone, her fix, how she manages to be sane at all,

My friend, you are one crazy rebellious doll

~

gen y?

YOUNG BLOOD BOILS FASTER THAN WATER,

ANGER AND RAGE ARE SOURCES OF POWER

NO ONE CAN OFFER AND EXPLANATION CUZ NO ONE CAN DECIPHER

WHAT   YOUTHS WANT, WHY DO THEY PESTER

EVERY GENERATION   HAS A DIFFERENT ATTITUDE,

HOW DO THEY REACT WITH LIFE’S ENDEAVOURS ARE IN DIFFERENT MAGNITUDE,

BABY BLOOMERS ARE HARDWORKERS,

THEY STRIVE IN LIFE TO MAKE IT BETTER,

CUZ WORLD WAR ONE HAD LEFT THEM WITH NO FATHER

GENERATION X ARE REBELS,

THEY DO NOT SING ON CHURCH CHOIRS,

THEY LOVE REBELLING AND DOUBTING THE HIGHER POWER

GENERATION Y HAS STILL A LOT TO COVER,

WE TEND TO BE FORCED TO EXCEED IN OUR STUDIES TILL WE HAVE NO POWER,

WHEN YOU PUSH SOMEONE UNTILL TO THE BACK CORRIDOR,

REST ASSURE WE’LL FIGHT BACK SO RUN FOR COVER,

WE HAVEA LOT TO PROVE, A LOT MORE THINGS THAT WE HAVE TO COVER,

OUR FATHERS HAVE GAVE US THE CHALLENGE TO BE BETTER THAN THE BEST,

THEY WANT TO SEE A BETTER SHAKESPEARE,

THEY WANT TO SEE US BE GREATER THAN STEVE JOBS,

THEY WANT A NEW LEADER,

THEY DONT WANT US TO QUESTION AUTHORITY,

RATHER THEY WANT TO SEE A NEW AUTHORITY,

CORRUPTION SLITHERS IN SOCIETY,

ABORTIONS ARE “TRENDING” EVERYWHERE,

ARE WE TO BLAME FOR WE HAVE NOT CARE?

WHERE IS OUR STAND?

WHERE SHALL WE STAND?

GENERATION Y, WAKE UP!

OUR LIVES ARE GETTING MORE TROUBLESOME,

THE WORLD IS GETTING INSECURE,

PEOPLE DON’T KNOW WHO TO TRUST FOR SURE

ARE WE GOING TO CLEAN UP THIS MESS

OR WAIT FOR ANOTHER GENERATION TO CLEAN UP FOR WHAT WE HAVE SCREWED UP?

STAND AND RISE

WE HAVE TO MAKE A MOVE BEFORE CORRUPTION KILLS WITH DECEPTION AND LIES

GENERATION Y

GET UP AND NO MORE SCREW UPS.