Aku Kafir, Kau Siapa? (Jangan Jawab)

I recently started reading again as an initiative in 2018 and the first book that I've read is a book titled "Aku Kafir, Kau Siapa ? (Jangan Jawab)", written by Ooi Kok Hin. My first impression of the book based on the book cover was how contrasting it was with the man calmly gazing out to the title of book. (Maybe it was meant to portray a man thinking of something?).

The book is about the writer's view on Malaysia's socio-political environment where how we as a  nation, though multicultural are not as liberal or as forward thinking as we are. The book is primarily separated into 3 big discussions that I really think should be heavily discussed amongst ourselves; Education, Religion and Politics.

What I've learned from this book is that we can't run away from politics so as long as we are a democratic nation. What we put forward in our efforts is what we reap. If we remain silent, other views and other ways of life will be pushed into our hand and shoved into our throats. History is written by the victors and the squeaky wheel gets the oil.

My favourite discussion that the writer openly discusses about that should be discussed further are that from "Soal Jawab Mengapa Awak Agnostik" which tells of how agnostic beliefs functions and "Multikultural Malaysia vs Asimilasi Indonesia" which shares the differences between Multiculturalism, Assimilation and Interculturism, something that I fully support.

His discussions and ideas are brief and small tidbits and excerpts that should be taken with a grain of salt. However these discussions shouldn't be made into such a taboo that we aren't open for new dialogues that should've been openly discussed in 2010. My main takeaway from this book is if you are still indifferent or have no hate towards your country, you need to think on how to improve your country even if is from the bottom up.

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Are we hiding under a facade?
Are we all just biding till someone calls fraud?
Crying wolf of tears and sadness,
Caving into your own fears and madness.

Are we all that different that we became so indifferent?
Are we processing too much information that we become so ignorant?

Pushing all morality and common sense aside,
Pushing down the pills and the drinks that burns on the inside,

Assuming that we have the third eye to perceive new perceptions,
Unbeknownst to ourselves its just self deception.

Are we all just too okay that we're not okay,
Wearing a golden crown on that head of clay
That'll break off to dust, a gentle breeze that'll blew it away
Gone with the wind, only remembered by kin.

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Oh hey, how are you?
Is it true that the sky is blue?
The pastures greener on your own roof?

I've never been better,
The color depends on the weather,
Hardships never chooses his customer.

Have you found what you want? Have you found what you need?
Did you pick the right poison? Did you tick off all the corrections?

I've found what I need and I'll get what I want.
I've found what not to pick but that hasn't stop me from choosing the wrong one.

 What of the vision? What of the chance? Has it all passed away?

The plan is still on hand, online, on deck. I need time, I need space, I need a hand that I can't replace.

It's scattered all over like a spilt turnover, a split foldover.
I need tape, some staples and rivets to put it back together.

I'll get it back together once again.
but for now,
My mind is off-zen, off-centered, offline.Auf Wiedersehen.

Masa

Aku sering perhati,

Sang Bulan dan Sang Mentari,
Bagaikan sepasang pencinta yang sedang menari,
mewarnai kegelapan dan mengisi ruangan galaksi

Namun.

Namun ku di sini masih tidak mampu menerima,
Pencarian kesilapanku yang ku tidak tahu mana dan mengapa

Sekarang,

Sekarang ku sudah berada di dalam posisi,
Rakanku, Keluargaku; syukur mereka berada di sisi,

Kini.

Kini namamu kian tidak lagi menghantui dalam ingatanku,
Kini aku senyum tanpamu,
Kini aku mampu. 

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i must confess
i'll write what i feel more or less,
i got a lil starry eyed
suddenly the vision of her is magnified

am i afraid, terrified?
i wouldnt want to look im staring at h er like im petrified
i must confess
i cant protest

im not a man of finesse
i dont recall that i ever profess
i must confess
angelic, she looks like shes the b est

 maybe im just a lil crossed eyed
but the vision of her looks more magnified
 i lay this feeling buried with all the roses
i set it ablze hope that itll never arises

sincerely yours,

An Ode to Mama

An Ode to Mama 

She taught me to be sharp, smart and tact,
She taught me to listen well and when to fight back,
Her posture shines that of a strong lioness,
Proper polite and caring is her prowess,
The strong woman, Onn's number 3,
She helps everyone with no care of getting anything back this Lady from the house of 63,
She raised her 3 kids well with her husband,
Although she felt like she's raising 3000.

I can never replace Tok Ayah or Baba,
I'm not the smartest nor am I that great of a man
But you believe in me, whispering in your prayers "I know you Can"

May Allah bless you and have a safe trip later,
Happy 51st to my strong, loving mother.
You saw me out into the world from your womb,
I hope I can see you out to your tomb.

From God we came,
To Him we'll go to,
InSyaAllah God grants you the strength to see,
The growth of your wonderful family tree.
Happy Birthday Mama

Union//Union

She clasps and kneels,
He bends and arches in his prayers,
She prays for mercy and whispers her pleas,
He begs for his and his kin's sins and His forgiveness
They knelt in unison, in a same direction.

They share the truth of believing in One,
though their paths are of a different direction,
Until they were set in an intersection,
interfaith, interactive, interaction

They're heartbeat beats, synchronised,
They're eyes locked gazing each other, mesmerised,
Their hands now clasped on each other, a rush to the head,
Their feelings, oh when emotions triumphs over logic instead!

But alas it was a just a junction of intersection,
 An afflicted addiction, An unlikely union,

They bow out, went on their ways,
The joyous union has ended, a raucous applause from both sides erupted,
The ostracized devoted is now in refuge of the faithless,
Seeking out shadows in the darkness,

She clasps and kneels,
He bends and arches in his prayers,
She prays for mercy and whispers her pleas,
He begs for his and his kin's sins and His forgiveness
They knelt in unison, in a same direction.